it's ok to be scared

 Things are so easy to forget. That's why I write diaries. Since 2nd grade of primary school. I love going back to them. Read all things I wrote when I was 10, 13 and even a year ago. It seems so... I seem so different. Always. It reminds me that I was happy. And it keeps me believe that someday I will be happy again. There's a lot of things that can make me feel happier than I usually am. Like acting, singing, watching my stupid TV series. I'm in love with Degrassi. I watch it since I was... 12! Jesus, it's 6 years. 3rd generation. It's not real, but it became a part of my real life. I love really stupid ones like Gossip Girl or The Vampire Diaries. I watch GG only for Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick. They're... stunning. Esspecially her. The Vampire Diaries is the most stupid TV series I've ever seen. But the cast is so damn sexy! Ian Somerhalder, Paul Weasly (SPEAKING POLISH!), Michael Trevino, Steven R. McQueen, Zach Roerig, Joseph Morgan (and his accent), Nathaniel Buzolic and even Matthew Davis! How the fuck is it possible that they are all in one movie?! It's too much. There has to be like 10000 degrees! And now - Supernatural. JESUS CHRIST. HAVE YOU SEEN JENSEN'S LIPS?!?!?!? They're like fucking carved! And his eyes, sweet mother of jesus. And Sam - his responsibility and sagacity, wisdom... I'm madly in love with Dean, but I like Sam more. And I love to be scared. And I have to confess - these series have their moments... And it's really hard to scare me. 

 I love the light of setting sun. It makes world seem more magical. More beautiful. I'm scared. But now I know that it's ok to be scared. Everyone is afraid of something. "Fear is built-in into human and there is no sense in fighting it. Without fear we would be success animals. We shouldn't be ashamed of fear. It's as natural and necessary as amusement or pain. I have to learn to live with it." 

 Let's fade together.