I feel surprisingly... calm. And to me it feels quite close to happy. I'm not trying to deal with my past. I'm trying to take care of my future. I don't know where I'm going and I constanly feel like something's missing, but... at least I keep going.

 This time will be different. I promised this to myself for a thousand times. But this time will be different. I feel it.

Jesus don't love me, no one ever carried my load

I'm too young to feel this old.