a whole life in my hands

 I was coming back from school yesterday. I got into the same bus as usual and after some time I noticed that there's a little bullfinch inside. He was so scared... Two guys got into the bus and one of them catched him. I thought that he would wait until the bus stop and he would let him go, but he just showed him to his friend and let him go at the bus again. Such an idiot. He flew to me. But I'm so fucking clumsy I wasn't able to catch him. He get away from me. I felt like it was my another failure. I decided that I won't get outside without him. One before last bus stop I went at the end of the bus and asked the girl if he was there. She said 'Yes, but I don't know if he would let you catch him". I tried. I was SO afraid I would hurt him. I had to press him a little to the window, but I managed to catch him. He was lying in my hands with no move. He had his eyes opened and I could feel his heart beating through my gloves. I thought 'I'm holding his whole life in my hands". I got outside and open my hands. He didn't want to go away. He trusted me. I knew I had to let him go. It's his nature - to be free. It shrugged me so much I was shaking all the way home.

A whole life in my hands.