fuuuuuuuuuuuck

 Ok, now I'm really fucking stressed. I don't know, I feel like I can't do it. Like I don't know the scenario, even though I wrote it myself. Like I've never played it right. I was afraid to lose myself. I still am. What if it'll back? What if this would make me worse? Ok, this is not exactly me. But I have to puke all of my emotions that have been stewed for so long so deep inside. And why now, when I'm finally feeling a little better? 

 Or maybe that's how it's suppose to be. Maybe it's high time to cure myself entirely. Maybe this will be my final treatment. Last goodbye. 

 It's last time for me. And I feel like crying. 4th and last time. When I came there for the first time, I was in junior high school and I had no idea how terrible I was at acting. Year later I came into the same place and nothing changed. I did nothing to change my miserable life. I swore to myself that in next year I will be standing in the same place with the feeling that I changed what I wanted to. I did something so my life would mean anything. To be at least a little happier. And I did. But this year... I went through real transformation. I am scared but I know I will go there and do the best I can. I will leave this place with sadness and happiness in the same time. Sadness because it will be the end. The end of my only journey. The journey I fell in love with. And with happiness because only end means something new. I DID something for myself. Only for myself. And no matter what will be the result, I will be different. And I know that's good.