And I'm anxious again. I hate it. I fucking hate it when everybody around runs with smile upon their face and beloved person by their side. Because in those days my loneliness hits me like a fukcing train. It was quite good. Really. Maybe I wasn't really happy, but at last I wasn't unhappy! It's almost like happiness to me. And now, all these couples would remind me of how lonely I am. I know, I know. I could change that. I have some people who would want to change that, but now I understand that for all this time I just wasn't rady for any relationship.
And now... something has changed. It's different. I mean... I'M different. I smile. I smile because I feel like smiling. It's something brand new to me. Really. For the first time, school is full of life, not overwhelming. And... I feel right. About this. I like the feeling I get, when I smile at him and he smiles at me at the same moment. I like even the fact that I can't see people around him in the first moment. Because it's him. I haven't felt like this for such a long time... If not... ever. It was always so fucking dramatic. I was always being so fucking dramatic. I thought I look serious. Shit not serious.
I am a dreamer and even though I know my dreams, those of my dreams, will never come true, I will stay a dreamer!
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