stupid girl not by Garbage nor by Alexz Johnson but by me.

 Does my dreams make stupid of me? I mean... It's nice. It's extremely nice. I didn't expect it at all. I believe that every woman on the earth should at least once in her life receive flowers delivered straight to her house. But not like that. It should make her happy, not miserable. 
 I did EVERYTHING I could to discourage him. E V E R Y T H I N G! And still... It's cute, but I can't change the way I feel. Or maybe... The way I don't feel. I'm sorry. I really am.

about to throw

 And I'm anxious again. I hate it. I fucking hate it when everybody around runs with smile upon their face and beloved person by their side. Because in those days my loneliness hits me like a fukcing train. It was quite good. Really. Maybe I wasn't really happy, but at last I wasn't unhappy! It's almost like happiness to me. And now, all these couples would remind me of how lonely I am. I know, I know. I could change that. I have some people who would want to change that, but now I understand that for all this time I just wasn't rady for any relationship. 
 And now... something has changed. It's different. I mean... I'M different. I smile. I smile because I feel like smiling. It's something brand new to me. Really. For the first time, school is full of life, not overwhelming. And... I feel right. About this. I like the feeling I get, when I smile at him and he smiles at me at the same moment. I like even the fact that I can't see people around him in the first moment. Because it's him. I haven't felt like this for such a long time... If not... ever. It was always so fucking dramatic. I was always being so fucking dramatic. I thought I look serious. Shit not serious. 
 I am a dreamer and even though I know my dreams, those of my dreams, will never come true, I will stay a dreamer!