James Morrison

 I love you.

supposed to be so beautiful

 I still have some troubles with myself. But... it kinda is beautiful. For the first time in my life I know that I will have something to tell about to my children and grandchildren. Even if that was only onetime adventure, I am happy it had happened. I met great people, I took part in something absolutely magical, I was interviewed! Ok, by radio which has about 15 listeners, but I was! And I am not afraid to say that... my dream came true.

 Only in movies there's never too late. 

 I'm the biggest dickhead I know.

 I have to let me go.

expert of unnecessary things.

 I'm an fucking expert of unnecessary thing. I am an unnecessary thing.

 I'm gonna be all alone for the rest of my life because no one will EVER be as perfect as Jensen Ackles.

struggling to breathe again.

 I expected It would be hard. But not that much. I thought I have all of this is behind me. That I got over with it. She helped me realised that I can't shake it off like snap of my fingers. 

Everybody's been abandoned and left a little empty-handed.

 I wanna be able to enjoy the little things. Like smile from a child, nice weather, gold trees, people around me, great books, mesmerising music, each new follower on tumblr/fashiolista/deviantart... 

I wanna be brave enough to be happy.

Why can I make everyone happy but me?

abandonment, abandonment, abandonment.

I can't mobilize myself to do simply anything. I should learn, read and make my matriculation presentation. And I sit on my ass doing nothing. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hate myself.

my head is about to explode

 I hate it so fucking much. Everytime I hear something like this I'm fucking paralised by fear. What am I suppose to say to him? I am not a fucking psychologist! 
 Please, PLEASE somebody help me.

My head is about to explode.

looking for what I knew

 Bright light almost blinding, black night still there shining, 

I can't stop, keep on climbing, looking for what I knew.

Had a friend, she once told me 'You got love, you ain't lonely',

Now she's gone and left me only looking for what I knew.

Mmm, I'm telling you now, the greatest thing you ever can do now 

Is trade a smile with someone who's blue now, it's very easy just...

Met a man on the roadside crying, without a friend, there's no denying,

You're incomplete, there'll be no finding looking for what you knew.

So anytime somebody needs you, don't let them down, althought it grieves you,

Someday you'll need someone like they do, looking for what you knew.

Mmm, I'm telling you now, the greatest thing you ever can do now,

Is trade a smile with someone who's blue now, it's very easy just...

I've always wanted only one thing.

jest chujowo, ale stabilnie

 To be honest, I don't really remember how it is to be truly happy. 
Some things make me happier than I usually am. Like Curly Heads concert yesterday. How is it possible that they play the music which is exactly in my heart? 

I can't find the motivation to learn. I know I have 4 test in 2 following weeks, but I just don't feel like I can learn it all. It's first week of school and already I don't get maths. Freaking great.

HELP! 

jest chujowo, ale stabilnie.

just make me forget.

 I believe I shouldn't be seeing him. Everytime after our goodbye I think to myslef that... after all, he's able to put himself together and move on. And I'm still a mess. I'm still broken into thousands pieces. Maybe I have this written all over my face "BROKEN". That's the truth. I'm fucking broken. I'm so scared to get involve into... anything that I... Oh, god. I hate people. I hate them. 

 Everyone I got close to... just left me. Everyone. Z, K, M. That's why I never ask for help. Because I had to learn how to live on my own. How to get by on my own. No matter what, you can always count on you. Only.