So, eating turned out not to be so easy as I thought it would.
It wasn't bad. It could have been satisfying or at least contenting, but somehow I always find holding myself from rejoicing. Eating is definitely my thing. I could eat all day, but I guess, when you eat non stop, eventually the time when you don't feel the taste anymore will come. And so it did. I'm sick of examining my thoughts on every step of my life. My head has been overloaded for so damn long time. When I was in a secondary school I used to switch off. There was just blackness in my head and it was SO DAMN NICE. Yes, just nice. That for one fucking minute I didn't have to think about anything. I tend to overthink everything. I'm trying to fight it but as much as I consider myself as an independent person I've always been dependent on someone or something. Against my will and my conviction.
So here and now. Not from next month, not from tomorrow, not ever from next hour. From right now - I'm clearing my head. I'll let there be the water. I might sound a bit crazy, but have you ever tried meditation? When you're not used to not thinking, it's so unbelievably hard to not think about anything. It seems impossible! I've always tried to imagine water flowing through my mind whenever I wanted to cool my head.
So I'm gonna try find answers. Within me. But first, I'm gonna find all that questions I have.
